PANAMA

The Driftwood Bar

FROM THE TRAVEL DIARY OF KILO FOXTROT

I worked at the Driftwood Bar which was a bar built out of driftwood. I didn't know any Spanish but I managed my way through conversations that went a lot like this:

Customer: Una cerveza. (One beer.)

Me: Bueno. Dos dolares. (Two dolars.)

Customer: Tiene Panama? (Do you have Panama?)

I already know without looking in the plastic bins behind the counter that we don't have any Panama beers left because we ran out a couple of days ago and it's a big deal when a car makes it to our hidden campsite, so I would have known if anyone had come to restock the Panamas.

Me: Panama no mas. Atlas o Balboa. (There's no more Panama. Atlas or Balboa.)

Customer: Atlas es frio? (Is the Atlas cold?)

I reach my hand into the plastic bin behind the counter. It's full of melted ice. 

Me: Mas o menos. (More or less.)

Customer: Eh, Atlas por favor. (Eh, Atlas, please.)

I hand the customer the joint I'm smoking, so I can dig around in the bin with two hands to find the coldest Atlas beer, maybe even a can of Panama I didn't see the last ten times I looked. The customer hits the joint and hands it back to me as I put his beer on the counter.

Me: Gracias! (Thanks!)

Customer: Muchas gracias. (Thanks very much.)

It's basically the same dialogue I performed for my Spanish exam in seventh grade.